Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Selling Presentations

What's one of the most important things to know before giving a Persuasive Selling Presentation?

Understanding what motivates people to buy and then pushing all the right buttons.


Before I launch into creating and presenting your own offer, whether in person, on the web, or in media, we need to do some research to make sure your offer is accepted.

Now, when I say "research," I'm sure visions of high school term papers come to mind - late nights in the library pouring through book after book.

Don't worry, I wouldn't put ya through that!

I've already done the research for you. All you need to do is LEARN from what I have researched and am sharing with you today.

Core Reasons People Buy
I want to show you core reasons that people buy.

Are there other reasons?

A few, and they are profound and I'll talk to you about them in Las Vegas.

But for now, what if I told you that I am going to outline the things that motivate people to make purchases, and I'm going to show YOU how to have control over each of these core factors, AND I am going to give you the training you need to master these motivators to practically cause people to buy from YOU.



What motivates people to buy?
As mentioned earlier, this isn't an all-inclusive set.

These are the major causes of why people buy.

There are seven.

To Be Continued...


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Monday, June 16, 2008

Overcoming Hostitlity

Criticism: Attacking someone’s personality or character, usually with blame, instead of attacking a specific behavior.

Hostility: To be antagonistic toward someone. Pertaining to an enemy.

Contempt: Disapproval tinged with disgust. Communication that is intended to insult. To show disdain for another who is considered vile or worthless.

Contempt and hostility are fueled by thoughts of the other person’s incompetence or disgust. They are disgusting. You think they are stupid. How do you show this?

  1. Labeling

    “You’re a jerk.”
    “You’re a b_tch.”
    “You’re a b_stard.”
    “You’re an idiot.”
    “You’re a fool.”
    “You’re stupid.”
    “You are incompetent.”

  2. Nonverbally

    Roll your eyes when they say something.
    Sigh heavily while they are communicating something to you.
    Turn your back on them while they are talking.
    Walk away from them while they are talking.

  3. Covert Insults and Humiliations Designed to Cause Real Pain In Others

    “Even Andy could get that one right.”
    “If you really loved me, you’d lift a finger to help around the house.”
    “You don’t even care about your kids.”
    “You were never there when we really needed you.”
    “Any kindergartener could figure that out you moron.”
    “You have serious psychological problems.”

Contempt Breeds Contempt

It’s true that contempt breeds contempt. Remember the last time you were involved in one of these?

“What the hell are you doing?”
“You told me to clean my room!”
“I told you to get the living room cleaned up because we have company coming, THEN to clean your room.”
“What’s the difference Mom, no one is coming for TWO hours?”
“That’s it. You have no respect. You are grounded.”
He looks at her in disbelief. Sits on his bed. Stares at her.
“What are you looking at?”
“Nothing. You’re crazy.”
“You will not speak to your Mother that way. You are grounded for one month! Now get this place clean. NOW!”

What happened here?

The son was cleaning his room. He probably should have been cleaning the living room first to prepare for company but he probably didn’t know why he should be cleaning the living room first.

Deep inside, the son felt put out that he had to clean his room and the living room. He didn’t mess up the living room after all. His toddling sister did. He doesn’t even go near the living room.

Deep inside, Mom felt like she was in a pressure cooker. Company coming in two hours and she has four hours of work to do. And this isn’t just any company this is hubby’s new client. A big one. The house has to be perfect. Tonight the pressure is on to make a really positive impression.

This is an example of how most people communicate all day long. Here is the next morning at work…

“Why aren’t you working on the Johnson account?”
“You told me to get the numbers for the Friedman account and the Johnson account updated today.”
“I told you that Johnson is going to be here in TWO hours. Get her account done THEN do the Friedman account. Does any of this make sense to you?”
“Both sets of numbers will be on your desk in the next hour.”
“I want the Johnson numbers NOW.”
“Fine.” (She drops the Friedman file. Grabs the Johnson file and returns to her desk.) “Is there anything else?”
“No. Just get that file to me ASAP.”

Deep inside, the office worker is feeling hurt and angry. She doesn’t feel trusted. She doesn’t feel as if her boss understands her competency level. She is angry that her boss felt it necessary to make a scene over NOTHING in front of the staff. The boss once again made her look bad for no reason. The file would have been done with no problem…and no time delay.

Deep inside, the boss felt that once again people just don’t get it. The top priority item gets second billing. What if there was an emergency or a problem and there wasn’t time to get the Johnson file done? Why don’t people do things in the order that make sense? This woman is as stupid as her son…except he’s 12 and has an excuse. Why does she keep this worker on? Probably because MOST of the time she does a good job, but THIS is just ridiculous.

The office worker goes home. She thinks all the way home that her boss is such a bitch. “She really thinks I’m an idiot,” she mutters over the steering wheel. I hate her. I am going to quit. I will not put up with this insanity any longer. I can’t handle it. She always is on me. Why doesn’t she just let me work and do my job?

She pulls in the driveway. Husband is home. “Hope he had a good day,” she says again over the steering wheel. She goes in. They hug, kiss, sit down and say hello for a minute.

“How was your day?”
“Oh, it was O.K. I’m sick of that witch though.”
“Did she say something again?”
“Yes, she was sticking her nose in my business again.”
“You know, next time she does that you should just tell her to leave and let you get your work done.”
“It’s not quite that easy. She is the boss ya’ know.”
“I know that but that doesn’t give her a right to be so overbearing. Tell her that you are good at what you do and that you don’t need her meddling.”
“She’s so in your face, very intimidating…(kind of like you honey…now that I think of it…) and I don’t want to push the wrong button and lose my job.”
“Geez’, they can’t fire you for doing your job and saying how you feel. Don’t let her push you around.”
“I’ll take care of it.” (I have no idea how but I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Now I feel incompetent here too!)
“Good, if you don’t let it fester you can have it taken care of tomorrow and never deal with it again.”
”That’s easy to say, you are the supervisor at your office. I’m just a peon.”
“I respect people who speak their mind as long as they are respectful.”
“She doesn’t respect anyone but herself. She is not you.”
“I know. I just hate to see you pushed around.”
“I can handle myself.” (No I can’t. Why do I say things like that?)
“OK honey. Keep me posted.” (I’m not going to make her feel bad by continuing this.)

Solutions for Contempt and Hostility

Hostility is attacking someone with the intent to do verbal harm. Some people simply fly off the handle and criticize people. As we talked about earlier, that has to be stopped. Others will complain about behaviors that their partners do. That isn’t so bad in the long run though it isn’t exactly a recipe for happiness. What is among the worst offending sins that is detrimental to the soul is communication with the intent to harm whether in public or private.

If you or your partner are intentionally communicating with the intent to harm you must stop immediately. Hostility is something that no soul should be involved in. There is no benefit to hostility for anyone. The desire to harm others through communication is a sign of serious relationship problems that need to be corrected as soon as possible.

If your partner is intentionally communicating with you in a hostile manner you need to gently share this information with him at the first reasonable moment. The partner should be allowed to communicate his feelings about the reason for his hostility and then move to a solution. The solution is not the silent treatment but increased communication. However, as you deal with the specific issue of hostility do not bring up all the relationship problems of the past. This only gives cause to do the exact opposite of your goal. What model of communication would you propose? Propose it. Get agreement if appropriate and start communicating with the intention to make each other feel good about each other. The exercises on the coming pages will help you rebuild a relationship that was on treacherous ground.

Re-Creating Love and Caring in Relationships

Will the relationship end or will love be re-created? If it’s time to start over do so now. The following plan for re-creating your relationship will be of great help. Here’s how:

Design a completely safe environment in which you and your partner may communicate.

If you have been hitting your partner, change your behavior. Changing your emotions will happen later, but change your behavior now! Your partner was hit as a child. If you tend to blow up at your loved one, stop now. They were yelled at as a child. If you get up and leave when you are angry, stop it now. They were abandoned as a child and you’re acting just like the parent. Think carefully about these examples before moving on to number two. Create an atmosphere where it is safe to talk and communicate. Promise each other that this is a time to listen and not judge, evaluate or point fingers. Create an atmosphere where you can experience positive communication.

Describe three things that you can implement in your marriage today to create a safe environment for yourself and your partner to communicate in.

Stop all criticism immediately!

There is no such thing as constructive criticism to the parts of the unconscious mind that are attempting to finish their childhood!

Create sessions of healing acceptance.

Healing acceptance sessions occur when you and your partner sit down and talk just as if you had been hit by a car in an accident. You want to find out if the other person is all right and see what you can do for them. You need to tell your partner that you want him to acknowledge what you are about to tell him without rebuttal or explanation on his part. No defensiveness is necessary. You are simply telling him that you are wounded and that it hurts. You will not blame him. You will use statements like, “I feel...” and “I hurt...” He should say, “I understand,” and “What else do you want to tell me?” “Go on.” “OK.” Those four statements and questions are the sum of what the non-injured partner will say.

It is vitally important to never attack your partner during these, “healing acceptance” sessions. Keep it open and loving and then your relationship will be on it’s way forward!

Perform random acts of kindness for your partner.

Bring a card or gift home after work. A small and inexpensive gift shows your thoughtfulness and can do wonders for your relationship in a big way. Notice the key word is ‘random’. It means unpredictable. Be unpredictable with your times of giving.

Do something that you normally don’t do around the house. If you never do the dishes, do them one night. If you never cut the lawn, cut it. The unexpected can be very pleasant and very appreciated.

Return to a successful dating ritual you liked.

Was there something special you did while you were dating? Do it now.

Express your love and feelings for your partner with hugs, kisses and verbal affirmations of love, often.

Most people need to be hugged and kissed. Leo Buscaglia used to prescribe at least a dozen hugs per day for the maintenance of a relationship. Saying, “I love you,” may get old after 30,000 recitations but you never hear of anyone complaining that their partner tells them that they love them too often!

Discover their needs and wants while sharing yours.

For you to have a wonderful relationship discover what your partner currently loves about your relationship. Then ask your partner what he thinks could improve your relationship. Ask your partner the questions below, in the Successful Relationship Elicitation exercise. (Don’t do this all in one sitting!)

This exercise will help you discover what is important to your partner and will help you transform your relationship.

Successful Relationship Elicitation

The following questions are to be used as discovery tools for you and your partner to learn more about each other and deepen your bond. Use these questions as tools to gently start to help you and your partner “peel each other’s onions.” The first questions will help you and your partner build resources for which you can refer to in tough times. Later questions help discover weaknesses and areas that can use change or improvement. Spend about 20 minutes for each partner with these questions, over several days.

  • What is the best thing about our relationship?
  • What is the next best thing about our relationship?
  • What else?
  • What do you believe you should learn about me to improve our relationship?
  • What do you think I should learn about you to improve our relationship?
  • What are two things I do that annoy you?
  • What are two things you do, that you think annoy me?
  • How happy are you with our sex life?
  • What can I do to make our sex life more intoxicating?
  • What would you be willing to do to make our sex life more intoxicating?
  • When we argue from now on, should we agree to kiss and make up before the argument gets out of hand?
  • What will our “cue” be for this to happen?
  • What do you do around the house that you think I don’t appreciate?
  • What do you do at work that you think I don’t appreciate?
  • What do I do that you probably don’t appreciate as much as you could?
  • What do you want to know about my past that I haven’t told you?
  • What do you want me to know about your past that you haven’t told me?
  • When should I be jealous?
  • When do you think you should be jealous?
  • How can we go from having a good relationship to having a fantastic relationship?
All of these questions allow us to discover more about our partner in a couple of hours than we may have discovered in years. Questions are an under-used element of communication in our culture. Beginning to ask gentle questions will put you on the track to improving communication and thereby improving your relationship no matter how good or bad it already is.

Learning what is important to your partner and being certain your partner understands what you need and want makes having a good relationship much easier. You take the guess work out of knowing what helps the other person feel more at ease with you.


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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Influence & Persuasion: How to Read Their Minds (Part 4)

Experiment 4: Priming and the Brain

I showed half the group the name "Benjamin Franklin." I showed half the group the name "Bill Gates." Then I said, "Write down the name of a man."

I made no prediction. I simply had everyone read what name they wrote down. The people who were primed with Benjamin Franklin wrote down historical figures like FRANKLIN Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. None of the men written down were living.

In the group that was shown Bill Gates, two interesting things happened. First, all of the men's names (save one) that were written down were names of men who were still living, including a significant number choosing BILL Clinton. The prime of "Bill" was more useful than I imagined it would be and other living wealthy (without exception) men were named as well.

The experiments show how powerful priming is. Priming CAUSES people to THINK and BEHAVE in specific ways that are largely predictable.

Let me do one with you right now. QUICKLY do this then see what happens.

Experiment 5: More Priming

QUICKLY: Write down the name of a card in a deck of cards. Any card at all.


What's interesting...

...is that...

people who wait more than one second before writing their card down, end up writing random cards and colors. Those who respond instantly select one of three cards over 60% of the time: Ace of spades, Queen of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds. When only two predictions can be made, it's the AS or QH: 45% of the time.

This is a truly amazing test of psychic power of course...because it is all but impossible. Yet the hands go up and everyone looks at each other in amazement to see that they or their neighbor wrote down what was "sent" to them.

How does this work?

We are all primed to think certain things and do certain things in certain situations. If I tell you to write down a city in America, you are likely to write down New York. Most people do. People think city and the neural net immediately goes to the city with the most connections. On average, in America, that is New York.

Understanding specifically how and what people will respond and react to makes creating influential messages much easier than trying to guess what people will respond to.

I discuss the results of all the experiments in Science of Influence 37-48. With this, you have enough incredible insights to go out and change how you are working with clients and customers, today.

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Monday, June 09, 2008

Influecen & Persuasion: How To Read Their Minds (Part 3)

Experiment 2: Get Them Calculating

Next I had people speak out loud the answers to these:

1+1 is...
2+2 is...
4+4 is ...
8+8 is...
16+ 16 is...
32 + 32 is...
64 + 64 is...

then I said,
"Write down a number between 12 and 5."

I predicted that they would write down the number 7. Precisely 50% of the participants did just that. Each participant was free to select 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, or 6. But there was no conscious selection. They simply did a mathematical operation after having done seven prior to my request. This one was subtraction. 12-5=7. Only 16% should have written 7 but 50% did because our mind is on autopilot and does what the last thing in it would trigger.

To follow up and elaborate on that point, I do something far more complex and truly mystifying.

Experiment 3: Instruct the Brain

I repeat all of the seven mathematical operations above then I say,

"Say blue"
"Say black"
"Say white"
"Say orange"
"Say black"
"Write down a vegetable."

Now there are hundreds of vegetables. Alfalfa sprouts, asparagus, beets, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, carrots, corn, and so on. But with certainty and confidence I state the impossible.

"I wanted you to write down carrot."

Indeed 45% chose carrot. A statistical impossibility, all things being equal...but all things weren't equal. I don't have psychic powers.... I simply know how to control the mind (mine and my client's).

The brain is made up of neurons that fire together and wire together to create engrams of information which create "thoughts." In this case the brain was instructed "vegetable black orange." There is no black vegetable. Carrots are indeed orange, and that is specifically why people immediately choose carrots. With even one second of a delay however, the number of people writing down carrot decreases dramatically. As soon as the mind "thinks," or "attends", your psychic powers...disappear. All the brain did was link the representation of vegetable to the one that was orange (as there is no encoding for black vegetable in the brain). Simple, as long as the person reacts instantly and doesn't pause to think.

We did dozens of similar tests to pave the way for some amazing applications for each person's business. I'll give you one example with fascinating results that has never been done anywhere before.

Turn the page for more experiments.

To Be Continued...

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Thursday, June 05, 2008

Influence & Persuasion: How To Read Their Mind ( Part 2)

What is the Secret?

The secret is in understanding how minds and bodies are controlled by specific stimuli or not. But, there's more.

The secret is also in understanding how people respond and/or react to certain stimuli. Knowing how people filter the past and how they will filter in the future. (If you don't have Science of Influence 1-36....you are missing...everything!)

Experiment 1: You First

I had all the Influence: Boot Camp participants watch me closely. When I "wrote" the numbers 1,2,3,4 high in the air with my finger and then asked them to write down one number, 45% chose (as I predicted when I turned the flip chart around) the number 3.

When there are hundreds of people in the audience, the number comes closer to 50 or 55% because we begin to identify with the crowd and think as one unit. That's when minds are very predictable. Think about it. 1/2 of all people will write down 3. In an audience of 500 the odds of that happening are millions to one. Absolute proof of psychic powers and connections with the people. Psychic influence at it's best?

It's no such thing.

People, on average, don't like going first (it's a way to get yourself thrown out of the gene pool) and they hate being last. They are compelled to not pick the first or last number. Given the choice of the second or third, they err to the cautious side and select the number three.

It's human nature. In 11 years of doing this bit of psychic prowess, it has never failed in a group larger than 13 people. Never.

I'll come back to what all this means to you as a person of influence later.

To be continued...

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