Wednesday, April 16, 2008

18 Ways to Handle the Argumentative Person ( Part 1)

Genesis: Argument and Hostility From Boredom? How could my boredom lead the way to making me hostile just minutes or seconds letter?

How could my mental drifting bring on contempt and criticism?

And once you are dealing with the Argumentative Person(ality) how do you defuse the contempt, criticism and hostility?

This is a pretty cool article but it takes me a minute to "set it up right." (In fact you can go back later and analyze the structure of this article and use the model for your own writing if you like!)

....Have you ever been in a conversation where you found your mind drifting, dreaming, and struggling to stay focused? Do you remember how it feels to try and listen as someone drones on and on?

When we are faced with a poor communicator there can be many reasons for a "missed connection."

Often there are words and phrases that simply shut us down, and prevent us from listening as well as we would like. Many times the person communicating is injecting so many negative words and ideas that we begin to feel down and heavy inside. It may just be that the person you are communicating with is boring you because the content of the communication is all about them, about stories you don't care to listen to, and people you have never met!

What if that poor communicator who is boring someone to you?


How would you know if you are the one who is inserting negative associations, bringing up insignificant details, droning on about you, you, you? How do you know if someone is really interested in what you have to say... that they are really engaged in the conversation? What is your method of observing whether or not the person or group is interested and intrigued, or tired and looking for the door?

As you move toward communication mastery, you begin to find that you learn from everyone you talk with. You will notice the subtle cues that tell you if you are in good rapport, speaking in a way that your audience understands, and using words that create desire and interest. You will be willing to identify in yourself those things that push others away and prevent them from listening as well as you would like. This is a very potent aspect of self-awareness that allows you to stay fascinating to everyone around you!

Today, I want you to look at the areas of communication where people most often go wrong. You're going to find out how others upset you.

You will discover how you may have been alienating others and helping them to feel negative when they are around you.

As you read these scenarios, notice if you see yourself in them. You might as well take the time to be very honest about your style of communication and the effects you are having on those around you.

To Be Continued... Meanwhile visit Kevin Hogan's Website.