Influence & Persuasion: How To Read Their Mind ( Part 2)

What is the Secret?

The secret is in understanding how minds and bodies are controlled by specific stimuli or not. But, there's more.

The secret is also in understanding how people respond and/or react to certain stimuli. Knowing how people filter the past and how they will filter in the future. (If you don't have Science of Influence 1-36....you are missing...everything!)

Experiment 1: You First

I had all the Influence: Boot Camp participants watch me closely. When I "wrote" the numbers 1,2,3,4 high in the air with my finger and then asked them to write down one number, 45% chose (as I predicted when I turned the flip chart around) the number 3.

When there are hundreds of people in the audience, the number comes closer to 50 or 55% because we begin to identify with the crowd and think as one unit. That's when minds are very predictable. Think about it. 1/2 of all people will write down 3. In an audience of 500 the odds of that happening are millions to one. Absolute proof of psychic powers and connections with the people. Psychic influence at it's best?

It's no such thing.

People, on average, don't like going first (it's a way to get yourself thrown out of the gene pool) and they hate being last. They are compelled to not pick the first or last number. Given the choice of the second or third, they err to the cautious side and select the number three.

It's human nature. In 11 years of doing this bit of psychic prowess, it has never failed in a group larger than 13 people. Never.

I'll come back to what all this means to you as a person of influence later.

To be continued...

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Flubbing the Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make (Part 3)

5) Exaggerate when telling your story.

"...and there were millions of people watching the parade!"
(There were 850 according to newspaper accounts.)

"...I never even looked at her!"
(Never looked?!)

"...before he started the diet he weighed 300 pounds!"
(OK it was really 240.)

A story worth telling is worth telling accurately. Tell it with enthusiasm, zeal and intensity. Tell it accurately. It's vital that all of your communication is true without being critical or unnecessarily unkind. Exaggeration is an invitation for people to not listen or care.

6) Ignore feedback during your story telling.

"...and then she comes in the door and she has this skirt on that is so ridiculously short. I mean who is she kidding. She's not a teenager anymore." (friend nods politely while fighting back a yawn, eyes begin to glaze over) "...do people have no sense of decency anymore? I just wonder what makes some people tick. Don't people pay attention to what they are wearing and see how it makes everybody feel?"
(friend shrugs and nods with feigned frustration)

The woman telling the story about the short skirted office friend could have spared her listener the despair of this antiquated story had she only seen the feigned frustration, the shrug, the yawn, but it was not something the storyteller was looking for. It should have been. It's critical to always pay attention to how people are receiving the stories you tell.

You must pay close attention to your listener's body language while you are telling your story. Is their body language telling you they are interested, or impatient for the end? Are their lips moving, ready to jump in on your story, or are they listening with awe. Not learning to understand the body language of other people is one of the mistakes we make in communication.

7) Respond to other people's stories with a story of your own.

"...and I went to Cancun and you should have seen the beaches. They were beautiful. The Princess Hotel was absolutely breathtak..."
"You stayed at the Princess. It's really not bad you know. On our third trip to Cancun we stayed at The Princess, in the Oceanview Suite. They reserved it for us because John helped with the design of the building in '98. I didn't really like The Princess that much. It was a wannabee hotel. But since then we've stayed at the new Sheraton. It just has everything and they take care of you like you are royalty there. I think if we go back and don't go to Tahiti on our next trip, we're going to stay there again."

"Cancun sure is nice."
(The energy has been discharged from her being and the desire to communicate further with her friend went with her energy.)

This is one of the really sad things we do in communicating with others. Instead of teasing out the rest of the story from our friend, we immediately jump in with a story of our own. Research shows that people feel better when you pursue their story to it's completion, then disclose (share) something of your own.

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